Returning to Work After the Loss of a Loved One: Tips for Coping and Moving Forward

A couple of months ago, I lost my dad. His health wasn't great, but his passing still caught us off guard. I had been his primary support for years, handling doctor appointments, grocery runs, managing his meds, and making sure he got the VA benefits he deserved. If you cared for someone who has passed, don't you feel a sense of "What is my purpose now?" Do you feel like the world should shut down at least for a bit while you figure out how to cope and carry on with work and personal responsibilities, including living your best life? I do, and I wanted to share points that may help you now or in the future, including this quote by Winnie the Pooh.

"How lucky am I to have had something that makes saying goodbye so hard?"

Losing a loved one is an incredibly challenging experience that can impact every aspect of our lives, including our ability to work. Returning to work after such a loss can be daunting and filled with many emotions. However, with time, support, and self-care, navigating this transition and finding a sense of balance and purpose is possible.

Allow Yourself to Grieve:

Give yourself permission to grieve, and mourn the loss of your loved one. Acknowledge your feelings and allow yourself to experience them fully, whether it's sadness, anger, guilt, or confusion. Suppressing emotions can hinder the healing process and affect your ability to focus and function at work. 

Communicate with Your Employer:

Inform your employer or HR department about your loss and discuss any necessary arrangements or accommodations. This might include taking bereavement leave, adjusting your workload, or arranging a flexible therapy or support group session schedule. Open communication can alleviate stress and ensure that you and your employer are on the same page. 

Ease Back into Work (If Possible):

If your work allows, ease yourself back into your work routine gradually. 

Be patient with yourself and prioritize self-care during this transition period.

Set Realistic Expectations:

Understand that it's normal to experience fluctuations in your productivity and concentration levels as you grieve. Set realistic expectations for yourself and communicate them with your colleagues or supervisor. Don't hesitate to delegate tasks or ask for help when needed. Remember that taking breaks and stepping away from work is okay if you're feeling overwhelmed.

Seek Support:

Surround yourself with a supportive network of friends, family, and colleagues who can offer emotional support and understanding during this challenging time. Consider joining a grief support group or seeking counseling to help process your emotions and gain coping strategies. Having a safe space to express yourself can significantly impact your healing journey.

Practice Self-Care:

Prioritize self-care activities that nurture your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. This might include exercise, meditation, journaling, spending time in nature, or engaging in hobbies that bring you joy. Make self-care a non-negotiable part of your daily routine, and don't hesitate to seek professional help if you're struggling to cope. 

Working for myself, I've had to prioritize carving out time for self-care, including practicing Pilates, enjoying leisurely walks, and surrounding myself with supportive individuals who uplift me.

Honor Your Loved One:

Find meaningful ways to honor and remember your loved one in your daily life, both inside and outside the workplace. This could involve creating a memorial at your desk. I have the flag given to me at his burial on my desk, and I plan on participating in charitable activities in his honor. Maybe dedicating a special day to commemorate their memory will be helpful. Keeping their legacy alive can bring comfort and a sense of connection during difficult times. 

Returning to work after the loss of a loved one requires patience, self-compassion, and resilience. By allowing yourself to grieve, seeking support, and practicing self-care, you can transition gracefully and eventually find a renewed sense of purpose and fulfillment in your professional life. Remember that healing takes time, and it's okay to prioritize your well-being as you adjust to this new chapter.

Take care of yourself, 

LJM